Magic market moments In the modern world of retirees, guys spend a lot of time in markets whilst their women shop. Where else can you get good conversation, free coffee and watch the parade of humanity? Along the front are usually benches where the old f—ts can sit and watch girls, tell stories, and just hang out. A lot of fun, I’ll confess. And many of the big stores have greeters… usually affable old guys who will get a shopping cart for you and pass the time of day. Just recently I heard a story about that. Seems one of the greeters in a big store was habitually late… 5 or 10 minutes. Finally one of the managers took him to task about it. He said, “You know, we have to keep regular hours around here! In your former job what would they say to you if you came in late?” The old guy thought a moment, and then replied, “They’d probably say, ‘Would you like your coffee now, General?’” So, many times I’ve sat on the benches in the front and my Chief Accountant was busily engaged in filling her shopping cart. There is often a big scale with a round face so you can see your weight. I’ve noticed that old guys step right on it… but with women it’s different. They will stop, look at the scale, look at the old guys watching her and then just go on! One day a nicely dressed middle-aged lady came in and sat down next to me. Evidently she was shopping with a relative. After a bit we struck up a conversation. Now, this was in Florida, and lots of snow birds. We swapped home states, I was from Michigan, and she was from Ohio. She told me she had just heard from her daughter who had a boy in 5th grade back home. Evidently the boy was starting a new health class, and it was going to include sex education. The mother had doubts about that, and she said when her son came home she asked him what he had learned so far. The boy said, “The teacher told us if we’re going to have an intersection, we’d better get a condominium!” One day I was doing the shopping, and when I came through the checkout line, I noticed the cashier had a nice upswept blonde hairdo. She was talking with her bagger, an old geezer. She poked up a stray tendril of hair, and the old guy said, “I like your hair that way!” She said, “Thanks, I have it done different every week!” I said, “So do I!” She snapped her gum, looked at my head and said, “What do you have… matte finish one week, and shiny the next?” Another time I was sitting up in front, and Marion was buzzing up and down the aisles, filling her cart. The place was a mad house with people all over… all the cashier lines were full. I saw her heading for the shortest line she could find, and I saw she had forgotten to get a gallon of milk. I stood up, waved my arms and she stopped. I called to her, “You forgot the milk!” Over the din she couldn’t hear me. Puzzled look on her face, and she said, “What?” “You didn’t get a gallon of milk!” Still puzzled, she said, “I can’t hear you!!!” I stood up, waved my arms, then passed my hand in front of my eyes and made motions like I was milking a cow. And I said in a loud voice, “Past-your-eyes (pasteurized) milk!” By now people were looking at us… she became aware of the spectacle we were causing and said in a disgusted voice, “GET IT YOURSELF!” Which I did! My last market moment came when a group of us were shopping in Meijer’s down in Benton Harbor. All of us guys were sitting up front in the Old F—t seats. I kind of lost track of where Marion was then one of our friends, Margaret Martens, came and sat down. She was nervous and said, “Bud, you’d better go and help Marion. She’s in a checkout line and she’s fighting with a big guy from Illinois!” Personally I don’t think we should call people names, but local people refer to them as FIPS, and if you don’t know what that means, ask someone from the Twin Cities! I hot footed over, and there she was, glaring at the big guy, and he was glaring back. Seems he had checked out his groceries and then engaged the girl in a conversation about finding good places to eat locally. Marion was behind him, and the line behind her was getting longer. Finally she became so impatient she gave him a gentle push with her cart. He turned, glared at her and said, “What’s your problem, Lady?” She said, “You are!!!!” And he subsided and left the scene! Marion checked out, came walking up to me with a triumphant smile… like, “Did you see what I just did?” Yes, I saw it, and I was proud of her! And that’s my last magic market moment for this time, as we live our lives in these storybook towns along the Paw Paw River.
Coloma Library News Invasive Species Program The Southwest X Southwest Corner Cooperative Invasive Species Management Area (CISMA) in partnership with the Coloma Public Library will be hosting a free workshop addressing invasive species of special concern in southwest Michigan on Wednesday, Feb. 21 at 6:30 p.m. at the Coloma Library. This presentation will focus on Japanese Knotweed which has been detected in the city limits of Coloma and aquatic forms of invasive species that can be found in Paw Paw Lake. There will be free information for attendees to take home at the conclusion of the presentation and there is no charge to attend this event. If you would like a plant identified please bring a quality picture with you and no live plant materials. For more information please call or email Jared Harmon at 269-471-9111 ext 3 or firstname.lastname@example.org. Book Club The Coloma Library Book Club is meeting on Thursday, Feb. 22 at 5:30 p.m. The title to read before the discussion is “Saints for All Occasions” by J. Courtney Sullivan. Story Hour returns Story Hour will resume meeting on Wednesdays at 10:30 a.m. on February 28. Join Miss Amy for a craft, story and song time! Story Hour is for older toddlers and preschool-aged children. It is asked that all children be accompanied and supervised by an adult. There is no sign-up or fee required. Please call 468-3431 for more information on any of these events.
Watervliet District Library News In Stitches Knitting Group Feb. 9, 2:30 – 4:00 p.m. Third Monday Book Club Feb. 19, 7 – 8 p.m. Little Bee by Chris Cleave Read to Zack, Feb 10, 1:30 – 2:30 p.m. Zackery – the read to me dog, is a labradoodle who loves kids to read to him. Children 12 and under can practice their reading skills and enjoy a snuggle afterwards. Adult Reading Program This year’s theme is: Solve it @ Your Library. Anyone 18 years and older is invited to warm up those brain cells with winter reading. Ends Mar. 3. Teen Table Projects: February Blind date with a book: Take a chance on book-romance and enter our prize drawing. Library Garden Park Purchase a Legacy Walk brick and celebrate a memory! Bricks are $75; 13 characters, 2 lines. Pick up a form at the library. Yoga Monday, 9 – 10 a.m.; Wednesday, 7 – 8 p.m.; Chair Yoga, Wednesday, 6:00 – 6:45 p.m. Call the library at 463-6382 for more information on any of these events.
NEWS FROM THE COLOMA COURIER
100 years ago – 1918 Following an illness, Mrs. Martha Snyder passed away at the home of her son, E.P. Clarke, of St. Joseph. The funeral was held at the Clarke residence on State Street. Interment took place in the village cemetery in Coloma. I will be at the State Bank for the purpose of collecting taxes. Township Treasurer, John B. Read 60 years ago – 1958 Many youngsters will leave their classrooms to participate in a week of group camping. They will learn about forest and wildlife management, nature lore and conservation subjects. Al Swisher has been named Red Cross chairman. He has recently joined in partnership with C.W. Hocker at the Coloma Motor Sales. Comerettes defeated Lawrence 46 to 19. High school students are proud of their girls’ basketball team. A girl weighing seven pounds three ounces was born to Mr. and Mrs. Roy Hampton, Sunset Drive. Plans were formulated for the annual light bulb sale of the Coloma Lions Club. Members met at the home of Richard Phillips. 30 years ago – 1988 Kristina Nord is crowned Miss Coloma. First runner-up is Kimberly Momany. Second runner-up is Christel Fain. Miss Congeniality, Carla Mannino, was selected by her fellow contestants. Dan Stack, Coloma school principal and Larry Foster, PTO representative reported to the commission that they are still seeking a solution to provide school crossing guards. Glad-Peach Festival Chairman Dale Stover reported that the committee is discussing replacing the festival banner that hangs over main street. CHS Winterfest Royalty: Prince and Princess, Scott Burke and Kerry Keleher; King and Queen, Brian Bittner and Monica Bansen; Duke and Duchess, David LaGrow and Leslie Sanders.
Submitted by volunteer Sandi Musick Munchow at Coloma Public Library, from the Coloma Courier newspapers donated by the Tri-City Record. Hours: Mon. & Fri., 10:00 a.m.-5:30 p.m.; Tues., Wed. & Thurs. 10:00 a.m.-8:00 p.m.; and Sat., 10:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m. Phone: 468-3431
NEWS FROM THE HARTFORD DAY SPRING
100 years ago – 1918 The state game warden’s department is making an appeal to Michigan farmers to save the game birds, particularly the quail, pheasants and partridge, which are threatened with extinction because of extreme weather and deep snows which have deprived them of their usual supply of food. The Hartford City Mills, owned by Walker & Keeny and the L.P. Walker stave factory were forced to close Saturday for lack of fuel. The two industries derive power from one power plant. The last of their supply of coal was used Saturday and they were obliged to allow the fires beneath the boilers to die. 75 years ago – 1943 Miss Regine Oppenheim, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. M.O. Oppenheim, has been selected by the Curtis Wright Airplane Manufacturing Company to receive training in aeronautical engineering. The Hartford Garden Club will meet at the home of the Misses Olive and Mildred Smith, 116 Mary Street. The subject for the day is, “Interesting Points of Mrs. Washington’s Home Life.” Twelve members of the Junior Mother’s Club were present at the meeting held at the home of Mrs. Lou Keech on Wednesday, Feb. 3. After a short business meeting, a paper on “Food Rationing” was read and discussed by Mrs. Evelyn Kozelink. Aviation Cadet Paul Richter of Hartford has successfully completed his preflight training at Santa Ana Air Base and has been ordered to an advanced flying school for further instruction as a Bombardier-Navigator. Theron H. Pomeroy, son of Mr. and Mrs. Clarence Pomeroy, was graduated from the primary flying school at the 9th Army Air Force Flying Training Detachment, Ft. Stockton, Texas, and will be sent to a basic flying school to continue his training. 50 years ago – 1968 Mrs. Esther Geisler will entertain the Southwest Hartford Thursday Club; topic for the day is “Armchair travels”. The Band Boosters will meet to make plans for a combined concert with Shelby High School on March 30.
Submitted by Librarian Stephanie Daniels at Hartford Public Library from microfilm copies of the Hartford Day Spring. Hours: Mon., Tues., & Wed., 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; Thurs. & Fri., 10-5 p.m.; and Sat., 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Phone: 621-3408
NEWS FROM THE WATERVLIET RECORD
90 years ago – 1928 Twelve head of cattle on the Chas. Yates dairy farm were stricken with illness similar to that suffered by a herd of cattle owned by the Blatchford farm. Dr. O.J. Howard of Watervliet says he thinks the illness was caused by some poison in the feed. Musical compositions for children in the lower grades, submitted by Adelia Louise Case, who is a Watervliet girl, are to be mimeographed and used in the Detroit schools in class singing. A birthday dinner was given in honor of Mrs. Caroline Thompson’s 78th birthday on Feb. 19, 1928. 60 years ago – 1958 William Hamberger, head of the music department of WHS, reports the receipt of thirty albums of classical records, a gift from Mrs. Gordon Lewis. It is the hope of Mr. Hamberger, that the music department will eventually have a music appreciation hour. Mr. and Mrs. Gene Ramsey are the parents of their baby boy, Kevin Jon, born Feb. 5, 1958 and weighed 8 pounds 2 ounces. Midshipman Otto Helweg, one of the Warriors who played football in the Army-Navy game, carried the ball for the last time at the Cotton Bowl Classic on Jan. 1, 1958. Helweg was offered a job with the Cleveland Browns to play professional football. 30 years ago – 1988 Feb. 17, 1988 was Dad Bayer’s 77th birthday. The patriarch of the proud clan is the father of 13, grandfather of 44 and great-grandfather of 13. His son Karl along with Amy, Justin, and Gillian will be visiting him in Oscoda, MI. The Good Citizen’s Award is one of the most prestigious medals the National Society Daughters of the American Revolution bestows. WHS’s recipient was Shannon Day Hanks. Shannon wants to attend Notre Dame or St. Mary’s with a career in corporate law. Robbie Thorton, Student of the Week, is an outstanding fourth-grader at Watervliet North. He readily accepts responsibilities, is a diligent worker, has a positive attitude and relates well with his peers.
Submitted by Sally Q. Gonzalez from files at Watervliet District Library from the Watervliet Record newspapers donated by the Tri-City Record. Hours: Mon. & Wed., 10 a.m.-8 p.m.; Tues., Thurs. & Fri., 10 a.m.-5 p.m.; and Sat., 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Phone: 463-6382