Understanding the language of long ago

Published June 7, 1995

In searching local newspaper files for information and stories for this column, I often come across certain words or expressions far removed from the experiences of the younger generation. Just as perfectly innocent remarks like “feeling in a gay mood” or “smelling the new grass” or “screwing up” provoke strange reactions from youth saddled only with modern language, some of the vocabulary of our forefathers might confuse those more recently educated. Let’s examine a few.

It’s surprising how many of these terms from some 1900 advertisements have passed out of usage. Here’s one from Merrifield’s Store: “New Shirtwaists, Calicoes, Tennis Flannel, Glove-fitting Underskirts, Petticoats, Straight-front Corsets, Lawns, and Dimities.” From the grocery department: “Saleratus - $.5, Cotosuet or Home-rendered Lard.”

From Pierce & Sons Hardware: “Crocker, Tinware, Granite, Jardineres.”

Enders & Young Company, Boston Store: “Just received a new line of Plush Robes, which I am selling at a great bargain ... Also Ulsters, Reefers, Oxford Mufflers, Fur Collarettes, Collar and Cuff Boxes.”

PAINLESS DENTISTRY: Drs. Ottman and Blankners from Grand Rapids astonished people with the skill and science of “EXTRACTING TEETH WITHOUT PAIN ... One Day Only, Friday, Dec. 14, at the Burke Hotel in Watervliet.”

“NOTICE: Shaving tickets - 12 shaves for $1, 6 for $.50, 2 for $.25” C.H. Hake

If Mr. Merrifield offered to sell you fine Velum Calf for $3, would you be buying shoes or livestock?

And if you saw an ad which offered the following, could you be sure what you were getting? “FOR CITY AND COUNTRY USE (this is your clue): Buckboards, Victorias, Phaetons, Cabriolets, Park Phaetons, Broughams, Fancy Traps ... (These are all various styles of non-motorized vehicles).

Here’s a 1909 ad that might almost fit today: “Hair Weaving ... Learn to weave your own hair into switches and puffs. Inquire: Mrs. H.S. Crumb”

You have to be somewhat familiar with the “times” in which a joke is told in order to appreciate its humor.

Take this one from a 1912 Courier: “I haven’t seen your face in church lately, Miss Dresser.”

“Why, Mr. Teiter, I’ve been here every Sunday.”

“M’m, maybe, but from where you sit, you know, that big hat of yours hides your face from me completely.”

It was about 1925 when my mother first had her hair “bobbed,” along with a lot of other daring but respectable women. We took picture of “before” and “after.” Radios were just “coming in” too. Dan won a crystal set down at the Economy Store when Harold Diamond was proprietor. And in the Courier was this verse, typical of the ribbing the women got: “A RADIO THOUGHT: Bobbed-hair Betty is a radio slave. She hopes they’ll broadcast a permanent wave!”

And the grim humor of the train crossing: “Maw said, ‘It’s comin’!’ Iz said, ‘Naw, ‘tain’t!’ He tried to cross. And now Iz ain’t.”

Then came the Depression: “According to the current report … Franklin’s picture is on the new $100 bill, but it can’t be confirmed by anyone in this vicinity.”

And this: “It takes more than an eyebrow on the upper lip to make a Charley

Chaplin income.”

And the conflict over daylight-saving time: “I got this daylight savin’ dispute all settled, I have,’’ said Bunkum, the head bookkeeper.

“You have?” yawned the 3rd assistant cashier.

“Yeah, my idea is this. Let’s get the boss to have standard time in the morning and daylight saving after lunch, huh?”

POLITICAL SICKNESS: (This might be considered timeless) “I see Senator Smirk isn’t going to run at the next election on account of sickness.”

“Sickness? He looks hale and hearty to me.”

“Yes, but his voters are sick of him.”

Public Library news

HARTFORD

Make a Christmas craft on Wednesday, Dec. 13 from 1 to 5 p.m. at the Hartford Public Library. No registration is necessary. All supplies will be provided.

StoryTime with Sarah is Thursdays at 10:30 a.m. and every Friday is Lego Build Day from 3 to 4:30 p.m.

Visit the library’s website at hartfordpl.michlibrary.org for a complete schedule of events and to see all library services available. For questions, call 269-588-5103 or email hartfordlib@yahoo.com.

WATERVLIET

December Food Drive

Help Watervliet District Library by giving back to the community! For December, the library will be accepting non-perishable food donations and hygienic items to help feed and care for those in our community experiencing food insecurity.

Bingo for Books

Patrons are invited on Monday, Dec. 11 from 5-6 p.m. for a family-friendly game of Bingo Christmas Edition. Players can earn free books. Christmas snacks will be provided.

Family Movie Night

On Thursday, Dec. 21 at 4:30 p.m. families can enjoy the classic movie, “Home Alone” at the library while having pizza and snacks provided by the library.

Visit the library’s website at www.watervlietlibrary.net for a complete schedule of events and to see all library services available. For questions, call 269-463-6382 or email info@wdlib.org.

COLOMA

Christmas Carols

Ring in the season with the library at a festive carol sing-a-long provided by the Coloma Junior High and High School Choirs on Monday, Dec. 11 at 4:30 p.m.

Food for HOPE

The library is collecting cereal and other non-perishable breakfast foods for the HOPE Resources Center until Dec. 28, 2023.

Book Club

The public is invited to join the Book Club every other Thursday in the Community Room at 4 p.m. The selection for the meeting on Dec. 13 is “The Santa Suit” by Mary Kay Andrews.

Paws for Reading

Weekly Paws for Reading sessions with trained therapy dogs, Pailey and Margaret are Wednesdays at 4:30 p.m. in the Children’s Room. Next session is Dec. 13.

Toddler Story Times

Weekly Toddler Story Times are Tuesdays at 10:30 a.m. for fun interactive story times and activities. Next session is Dec. 12.

Program schedules are on the calendar of their website: colomapubliclibrary.net. Call 269-468-3431 or email readcoloma@gmail.com for more information.